Put the blame where it's deserved

Now I'm not saying that Batman & Robin wasn't horrible, but at least it provided 2 hours of entertainment, in one way or another.  A guilty pleasure, if you will.  Thing is, Joel Schumacher seems to get all the blame for the failure.  After Batman Returns, Warner Bros. wanted to do more Bat films, Tim Burton didn't (he didn't even want to make a second).  Burton needed to be replaced, so the Bros. picked someone less likely to rebel, so they went for Schumacher, whose only other major credits were St. Elmo's Fire, an INXS video, and The Lost Boys (Fright Night's better).  In other words, he was chosen because he was fairly new to the game and could be pushed around.  The main thing he gets blamed or are the Bat Nipples.  He had nothing to do with costume design, that was the job of Ingrid Ferrin and Robert Turturice.  That's right, there were two people who thought it would be a good idea.  Of course, I find the writing to be the most blameworthy aspect, and what do you know, that wasn't Schumacher either, but Akiva Goldsman, who has escaped all blame.  This man decided to destroy the fine work of Batman: The Animated Series by reverting Mr. Freeze back into a nutter armed with a freeze ray and those awful, awful puns.  To leave you with a horrifying thought, Mr Goldsman is adapting the Dark Tower series.

It's not the end of the world

In 2012, there will be two reboots/remakes/reimaginings, that seem to have the whole world in hysterics.  First up is Buffy The Vampire Slayer.  All comments on this seem to revolve around the usual "Hollywood is raping my childhood" variety, and comments about how much it will suck because Joss Whedon isn't involved.  Thing is, it's actually a remake of the movie that started it all.  This movie simply developed from Joss thinking about a stereotypical horror blonde kicking monster arse.  That's about all the movie was before he perfected the idea for the series.  If you didn't know there was a Buffy movie, there is kind of a reason, it isn't Joss's best work, especially seeing as everyone kind of mucked about with it.  Joss did a runner and pretends it never happened, so of course he's not going to be involved in another attempt.  So there is no replacing Sarah Michelle Gellar, but Kristy Swanson.  There is no replacing Giles, Xander, Willow or Angel, because they don't exist yet.  Now the other one is Spider-Man, which also mentions Hollywood's devious relationship with individuals, honestly can't people think of something else to say.  Anyway, Spider-Man, people also say we had one ten years ago, why are they starting over.  These people have clearly never read a comic before.  Retcons (Retroactive Continuity) and reboots happen in those every five to ten years.  Just as an example, there was a storyline known as the Clone Saga, it was supposed to be a short one, but it became popular.  Naturally, the story went further, two years further.  At the end, after things got ridiculous, they wiped the slate clean so that it never happened, and to this day the Clone Saga is mentioned in hushed tones.  Now after Spider-Man 3 they've got three choices; acknowledge the existence of the third film, pretend it never happened, or reboot.  They chose the lesser evil.  So quit you're whinging.  The more you whinge, the more we realise you're going to see it anyway.
See You Whenever.

I'm back

It's been a bit of a while between drinks, but I have returned. basically, the scheduled posts are getting to be a bit of a chore, so instead, I'll be chatting with you whenever I damn well feel like it.  Mind you, how do I even know you're out there.  You could just be a figment of my imagination.  Those two followers could just be Tyler Durdens.
With the announcement of the villains in The Dark Knight Rises, I'm curious as to which is which.  The first two films had a puppet villain (Scarecrow/Two-Face) and someone to pull the strings (Ra's al Ghul/Joker).  The fact that Anne Hathaway has only been announced as Selina Kyle would suggest their keeping Catwoman under wrap, making her the master to Bane's puppet.  Or perhaps, They'll go with the breaking of the Bat, with Catwoman in place of Azrael.  What with Selina Kyle being classed as a love interest, perhaps we can get some Mask of the Phantasm action (The real best Batman movie in the history of ever).  Let me know what you think you undigested beef, mustard blobs and cheese crumbs.

Let the happy dance commence

In case you didn't hear my time-space piercing squeals of joy, so powerful that caused my own conception, I have been accepted into university.  Pretty damn soon, I'll be starting a double degree in Journalism and Creative Writing, which'll keep me busy for the next four years.  But don't panic, I'll still popping in on my usual visits to push you closer to the edge of unsanity.

cd77vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Somewhere within the 36 hours I shall discover whether or not I've made into university.  Hopefully it will be the top choice that is a success.
In other potentially great news, on the 5th of March, I'll be going to my first comic convention; The Armageddon Expo.  Sure it isn't Comic-Con (one day) but you've got to start somewhere.  What makes it better is Robert Rankin will also be there, which ensures a lift from Dad.
That's about all for now.  Expect a high pitched girlish scream of success on Friday Morning.

Life is exceedingly unfair

Have you ever found a song you find so freakin' sweet, that you just have to see if there are any other variations and see if they're just as awesome.  I've got three.  They are Go, Go Power Rangers, the Doctor Theme, and the Mortal Kombat theme.  The weird thing about that last one is, I'm not really a fan of the games.  I've seen both movies for a laugh, but I never got into the games, probably because I'm pretty crap at fighting games where they expect you to use combos.  It might also be the misspelling for the sake of misspelling.  but that theme tune is epic on toast.  The other day, when looking for the MK theme on YouTube, I came across a few violin versions which led me to sori1004jy, properly known as JiYoun Kim.  She is a brilliant violinist who really deserves to be released to the world, rather than sitting around on the internet.  Especially considering most "musicians" who get a big break after someone sees them on the internet.  I'm talking about that poncy little git with the record for most usage of the word baby in a song.  If you'd like to check out Miss Kim, you may want to look over here:
http://www.youtube.com/user/caecilius192

Success

It took me four days, but I was able to clean my room before the deadline.  On the first day I came close to throttling Mum.  I'd just spent about three hours getting rid of ancient paperwork, the main source of mess, and asked her opinion of my progress.  All she could see was that my bookshelf had been moved six inches to the left.  That happened at least six months ago.  Unfortunately, I found out this morning that Dad would be the one checking, so I'd have to wait until he got home to see if it was most definitely clean, despite Mum's seal of approval.  When he did get home, he had lunch and has been caught in a nana nap for a while now.  But, like I said, I've got Mum's approval, so it doesn't matter.  See you on Monday, when I'll return to my usual posting schedule.

The Ben Ultimatum

Happy belated new year.  If you're wondering how I spent New Year's Eve, I was partying like I really like I couldn't care less.  I stayed up 'til quarter past midnight watching Veronica Mars.  I'm sure the holiday once held meaning, but now it's a special occasion in which you can stay up to an unbelievable hour, getting extremely pished.
My mum has discovered a new way to make me do things.  I've got until the middle of Friday to clean my room. to her standards.  If I meet this goal, I don't have to pay board.  If you're wondering why I haven't started yet, I'm working out how likely it is she'll make up a new standard at 11:59 am.  I wouldn't put it past her.  That, and there is a lot of paperwork that needs shredding, and we've only got a manual shredder, so I'm working up arm strength.
See you on Wednesday.

Does anyone even care about the title

I'm going to be incredibly lazy today and just go for a sort of year in review.  I've managed to get a personal best in theatrically viewed films.  Usually I only see three, in a good year.  Last year, I only got one in, on the 28th of December.  Mind you Zombieland was well worth the wait.  This year I saw;Lucky Luke (making it my first foreign film at the cinema), Scott Pilgrim vs The World, The Sorcerer's Apprentice, Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole, Buried, Let Me In, The Secret Of Moonacre, Red, Megamind, and Tron: Legacy.  I reckon I can beat that next year.
An obvious discovery for 2010, is the very thing you're looking at.  I find that the most difficult part of blogging isn't so much keeping to my schedule or working out some kind of a topic, but instead, it's coming up with a name for each post.  Makes me wonder how the Smallville writers cope with the one word titles (Absolute Justice was planned as two episodes, so that doesn't count).  For every minute spent constructing a sentence, there's another five working out what to name the blasted thing.
I'm also inching ever closer to the working world.  I made the mistake of giving high school priority, so I haven't even asked anyone if they want fries.  I'm now stuck in a horrible Catch-22 of work and experience.  With any luck, my time at university will lead to a proper job.
See you all next year, don't do anything Gemini would.

How to end it all

Last night, I finished watching the fifth season of Dexter.  Now, according to that fountain of knowledge known as Wikipedia, a sixth season has been given the thumbs up.  It also states that this won't be the last, leaving room for a seventh, which probably will be the last.  So, with a possible end date in sight, let the speculation begin.  I had an idea going where he'd be in yet another game of cat and cat-like mouse, this time with Astor.  Unfortunately, that doesn't look quite as likely now.  The obvious solutions would be to either kill him off or have him pardoned for his aid to society.  There is a third option of him losing all ties to "normality" in Miami and finally does that runner he keeps trying.  Of course, I'm rather partial to an ambiguous ending like Angel (I don't count After The Fall, although I follow Buffy Season Eight) or The Sopranos (I don't care what you say, that was a great ending).  Let's make this interactive and you tell me your theories.

Similar but not the same

Occasionally, a movie comes along that doesn't get the attention it deserves because of its similarity to another one.  Which is a shame as this year I've come across two such films; one is as good as its doppelganger, the other is far superior.  They are "Defendor" and "Battle For Terra" respectively.  Defendor shared a similar plot to Kick-Ass, in that they both involve someone using their expansive comic book knowledge to become a superhero.  However, that's about all they have in common.  While Kick-Ass is a bit of escapist fun that doesn't even consider taking itself, or the superhero genre, seriously.  Defendor, on the other hand, is more of a social commentary on vigilantism, much like The Boondock Saints, or Death Wish (the novel, not the film).  Now to  the animated film Battle For Terra.  It was released theatrically in 2007, but wasn't marketed properly, so almost nobody saw it.  Recently, it was released on DVD to coincide with its doppelganger (I'll just give you the plot, and see if you can work it out).  Battle For Terra is set in the future after humanity has buggered up Earth, and is looking for a replacement.  During a battle, one of Earth's fighters ends up amongst the native Terrians. This soldier goes back to the other humans, and tries to create a cooperative living arrangement between humans and Terrians.  When this doesn't work out, a visually stunning, edge-of-your-seat aerial battle ensues.  Again that was the plot for Battle For Terra, not Avatar.  So forget Avatar ever happened and let the better film win.

Gemini's Gravity Gaffe

Gemini's noticed I haven't talked about her for awhile, and is currently advising me to rectify the situation.  Have you ever had a time when something kind of bad is happening and there's two voices in your head; one telling you to intervene, and a louder one telling you to wait and see what happens.  This happens a lot regarding Gemini's actions, I usually listen to the louder voice.  Most of the time, it's just her and Carmello fighting.  They can really go at it, so it's probably a good idea that they pull their punches.  However, the best stuff comes from her understanding of gravity.  She's realised that if she leans her head against the biscuit box, then pulls back, the box rocks.  If done enough times, the box will fall off the table and open, allowing her to have as much biscuits as she damn well likes, which is usually only a fraction of what falls on the floor.  There was a time where, despite the box's emptiness, she decided to "love" it.  Carmello was on side of the fireplace, and Jasmine on the other.  Gemini was aware of this placement, and continued loving the box.  This is where the loud voice was getting me to place bets on which cat was getting Tupperwared in the face.  In the end, it was Jasmine.  Despite this firsthand knowledge, Gemini believes she is immune to the pull of gravity.  Often whilst sleeping on an elevated surface, she gets quite relaxed and rolls around, until she runs out of bed.  The best part is seeing her expession slowly change from ecstasy to pants messing fear.

A slightly belated chat

Evening all, I know our chats are usually in the morning, but there were some technical difficulties regarding the Internet this morning.  Something excellent happened yesterday, Mum bought herself a game and stuck it under the chrissy tree.  Four hours later, she wanted to play the thing, but she couldn't cause it were under the tree.  After extensive haggling, all of us could see what we got.  Alongside the Veronica Mars boxset, I got a 2GB MP3 player.  It's already loaded with the works of Mike Oldfield and Jean Michael Jarre.  Also bought myself a few DVDs.  I got Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, Any Which Way You Can, Black Lightning, and Zu Warriors From The Magic Mountain.  I've not seen those last two yet, hell, I hadn't even heard of Zu Warriors before, but apparently it inspired Big Trouble In Little China, John Carpenter's second best flick.  As for Megamind and Tron Legacy, they're both well worth a look.  I was relieved to note that neither of them came with a side of Disney biscuits.  Disney biscuits are those bits in kiddie flicks especially that are either sickly sweet or gratuitously heartwarming.  As far as Tron was concerned, it could of been two hours of Lightcycle chases and I would've loved it.  Now I can't wait to see what the same team plan for The Black Hole.  One day I'll work out how to write a proper review, but until then, may your Spectrum be Green.

What to write about

This one's a bit of a filler at the moment.  I haven't quite worked out what to write about.  I've had a bunch of ideas floating in my head, but I've been getting into "Quantum Leap".  That, and I'm also watching the fifth season of "Dexter".  Unfortunately, I'm watching that one with Dad, so I've got to work with his schedule.  Mum and Dad have decided to be evil again this year.  They've decided to put all the stuff under the christmas tree well before christmas.  So, I'm stuck looking at the boxes trying to work it all out, which is worse than just plain not knowing.  Admittedly, I know what one of mine are as I picked it out.  I've got to try and finish "Quantum Leap" before christmas so I can get into "Veronica Mars".  I'm sorry for improvised rant, but I'll make it up for you on Wednesday.  After all, I'm seeing Megamind and Tron Legacy on Tuesday.  So I'll probably review one of them.

Would a rose by any other be just as awesome?

I've been looking at a few other blogs lately and noticed that most people to go on about their life story.  So I guess I'll chuck in the occasional snippet in between the pop culture rants and updates of feline-based villiany.  The best place to start would be the thing I started with; a name.  I was originally going to be Darcy Llewellyn Roberts.  However, there was some disagreement as to how awesome this name was, and I ended up with Benjamin Darcy instead.  Honestly, I'd have much preferred the first option.  The meanings alone are worth it.  My current name means "Son of the right hand Fortress" when I could've been "Fortress Ruler".  In other words, King of the Fort.  Another was the name calling.  When I started school, rhyming was still a popular starting point, so I ended up with "Ben the Pen" and "Ben the Hen".  Now, "Ben the Pen" wasn't a problem because back then, using a pen was a privelige, and a had always been fond of the written word.  As for "Ben the Hen", that manages to call me both a chicken and a girl, to of the worst insults you can get.  If I was Darcy, there was only classy and ar*ey.  Classy isn't exactly an insult, and the other would've resulted in a washed mouth.  I did get my mouth washed out, once.  Thing is, it was for one that's become everyday language for most people.  It was only sh*t.  If I'd gone for the Grandaddy, I would've had a washed mouth, red bottom and an early bedtime.  Of course, the namecalling evolved as schooling went on.  I've had loser, moron, retard, fagget, goober (if anyone knows this, please tell) as well as nerd, dork and geek, (I like those three).  Once I hit high school, things elevated further.  I won't repeat thos names as they got quite colourful, including the dreaded "C-Word" about twice.  Thanks to all this, I wasn't to fond of people and labelled myself an insociable bastard.  But all that changed fairly recently, when I discovered there was a noticeable portion of the human race that weren't complete bastards.

Insane Ramblings That May Or May Not Rhyme

Banana Puddings roam the earth,
They've stolen all the bacon,
Their Queen is preparing for birth.
Our planet has been taken.

The humans are planning an attack.
The leader's pants were stolen,
It happened when he was bowlin'.
He'd do anything to get them back.

Their plan was in it's final stages,
They made a visit to the animals.
They opened all the cages,
And treated them like cannonballs.

The puddings began their bacon feasts,
When they were bombarded by flaming beasts.
The Queen's water had just broke,
A flowing river of Coke.

Burning giraffe filled the air,
Puddings dying everywhere.
"Zex-Kwiv" the Queen madly screamed,
In her eyes vengeance gleamed.

There was one last kangaroo,
Until they'd used all the zoo.
Soon they'd have to face the Queen.
This feat would not be mean.

Humans smashed down the door,
And looked upon their work.
Yellow ooze filled the floor
Blazing puddings went berserk.

The humans watched on unfazed
How could they be so crazed?
The Queen went haywire
And was ended with gunfire.

The puddings had been beaten
The humans began eating
The leader had reclaimed his jeans,
When along came the jellybeans.

Honour, loyalty and wenches

I thought it was about time that I gave my opinion on the great debate of the 21^st century. No, not that one, although I’ll get to it later. I’m here to talk about the controversial matter of pirates versus ninjas. I’m one of the enlightened few who recognise the superiority of pirates. For the sake of this argument, historical accuracy isn’t overly important, unless I say so.

Let’s start with the fighting aspect of the argument. Now a pirate versus a ninja would be like a mongoose versus cobra type fight. But the argument has always been a pluralised matter. Ninjas fight better when they’ve got plenty of room to move round, but put them in a close combat situation and they’re completely buggered. Whenever a hero encounters a room full of ninjas, at the end of it all, the hero is able to walk away. The same can’t be said for the ninjas, some are lucky enough to crawl away. Pirates, on the other hand, spend most of their time on tight, crowded boats, and as a result, are more accustomed to the event of close combat.

Another important aspect is that of life expectancy. There are plenty of wise old pirates, but ninjas are lucky if they can even get to two days before retirement. In the event of capture, ninjas immediately die. So if you want to kill a ninja, just hold onto their arm for 10 seconds. Pirates may rarely get captured, but they won’t say anything, and whatever body part is forcibly removed can easily be replaced with an artefact of coolness, like an eye patch, hook or parrot. In fact, anything worn by a pirate becomes freaking sweet, especially compared with ninjas sole wardrobe of pyjamas.

Now for the most important aspect; honour. Pirates were very loyal creatures, all loot was divided evenly based on rank and duty, so if you were playing Sonic rather than attacking the Dutch East India Trading Company, start thinking of the story you tell your wench explaining why there's a chioce between ham and rum, rather than both.  Ninja’s, on the other hand, would totally murder a baby. Except in the upcoming movie “Warrior’s Way”, where a ninja refuses to kill a baby, so he becomes a cowboy. * Plus pirates only steal material possessions or loot. Ninjas stole their whole concept. Yes, ninjas are plagiarisms of Saracens and nobody likes a plagiarist. There are probably some of you saying the same thing about pirates and Vikings, but pirates only attacked naval and trading ships. Vikings went after whole villages.

* Possibly with aspirations to one day move up the cool scale to the class of pirate.

We interrupt your usual program for this breaking news

This here's an update on a few of the earlier posts, particularly the two concerning tokusatsu.  First off, "Kamen Rider Dragon Knight" is still freaking sweet.  Secondly, I had made a slight mistake.  While Nickelodeon are the major players for the new Power Rangers, Saban has returned to call some of the shots.  Also, I decided to look into Disney's last Power Rangers.  I must admit, it too was awesome, thus making tthe score 3 out of 7.  Finally, I saw the first episode of Japanese Spider-Man.  And you can too.
http://marvel.com/videos/browse/tv_show/128/japanese_spiderman
The video quality was a bit meh, and wasn't as violent as I had hoped, but it's still worth a look.

Beware my power

I’ve recently seen the trailer for “Green Lantern”, and even though I’m counting down the days until release, * I can’t help but find it a little familiar.  This is all because of the supposed necessity of an origin story.  The only excellent origin is “Batman Begins”, until the dog that is “The Dark Knight” came and piddled on that tree. Seeing how the hero gets to be the hero isn’t all that necessary.  The plot should create the character development, not the other way around.  If you still can’t see how pointless they are, look at the “Star Wars” prequel trilogy.  Give Hal the ring before the opening titles and move onto a plot, or put the origin in the opening titles like in "The Incredible Hulk", mind you I preferred Ang Lee's "Hulk.  Hopefully, it’ll be a success and the proposed trilogy will come into fruition.  Mind you, I’ve got another idea of giving the Emerald Gladiator a vehicle.  What with “Smallville” coming to a halt, give Oliver Queen/Green Arrow a spinoff where he teams up with Hal Jordan’s Green Lantern, following in the footsteps of the O’Neill/Adams series, kind of like “Supernatural” only Superpowers.  Maybe even bring in some of the other heroes featured in “Smallville”.

*As opposed to the similarly titled “Green Hornet”, which I decided against the second Seth Rogen was involved.

Your friendly neighbourhood giant robot

I thought I’d continue along the lines of the tokusatsu.  This time around it’ll be a proper one, in other words, Japanese.  I haven’t seen it myself, but I thought I’d put the word out, so someone can find it and tell me how freaking sweet it is.  The show in question is “Spider-Man”.  Bet you didn’t know there was a Japanese Spidey running around.  In the 70’s, Marvel made a deal with a Japanese production company and said that they could do anything they felt like with Marvel characters.  They started with Spider-Man.  Instead of the nerdy kid who gets bitten by a radioactive spider, he’s a teenage motorcycle daredevil who happens across a crash-landed spaceship (funny, how only teenagers notice these things).  The ship was home to an alien headed for Earth, as it was also the destination of his archnemesis.  The alien gives our hero a snazzy pair of tights (same design) and the keys to the spaceship.  Of course, this is no ordinary extra-terrestrial vehicle, it also transforms into a giant robot.  Always helpful for those times when the bad guy becomes super huge after exploding.  The best part is that this was made about the same time as the American live action Spidey series that had the proper origin but also had him fighting bank robbers, as opposed to super villians.  I don’t think I need to tell you which version the legendary Stan Lee prefers, even though the American hired him as a consultant (somehow I doubt they were taking on his ideas).