Does anyone even care about the title

I'm going to be incredibly lazy today and just go for a sort of year in review.  I've managed to get a personal best in theatrically viewed films.  Usually I only see three, in a good year.  Last year, I only got one in, on the 28th of December.  Mind you Zombieland was well worth the wait.  This year I saw;Lucky Luke (making it my first foreign film at the cinema), Scott Pilgrim vs The World, The Sorcerer's Apprentice, Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole, Buried, Let Me In, The Secret Of Moonacre, Red, Megamind, and Tron: Legacy.  I reckon I can beat that next year.
An obvious discovery for 2010, is the very thing you're looking at.  I find that the most difficult part of blogging isn't so much keeping to my schedule or working out some kind of a topic, but instead, it's coming up with a name for each post.  Makes me wonder how the Smallville writers cope with the one word titles (Absolute Justice was planned as two episodes, so that doesn't count).  For every minute spent constructing a sentence, there's another five working out what to name the blasted thing.
I'm also inching ever closer to the working world.  I made the mistake of giving high school priority, so I haven't even asked anyone if they want fries.  I'm now stuck in a horrible Catch-22 of work and experience.  With any luck, my time at university will lead to a proper job.
See you all next year, don't do anything Gemini would.

How to end it all

Last night, I finished watching the fifth season of Dexter.  Now, according to that fountain of knowledge known as Wikipedia, a sixth season has been given the thumbs up.  It also states that this won't be the last, leaving room for a seventh, which probably will be the last.  So, with a possible end date in sight, let the speculation begin.  I had an idea going where he'd be in yet another game of cat and cat-like mouse, this time with Astor.  Unfortunately, that doesn't look quite as likely now.  The obvious solutions would be to either kill him off or have him pardoned for his aid to society.  There is a third option of him losing all ties to "normality" in Miami and finally does that runner he keeps trying.  Of course, I'm rather partial to an ambiguous ending like Angel (I don't count After The Fall, although I follow Buffy Season Eight) or The Sopranos (I don't care what you say, that was a great ending).  Let's make this interactive and you tell me your theories.

Similar but not the same

Occasionally, a movie comes along that doesn't get the attention it deserves because of its similarity to another one.  Which is a shame as this year I've come across two such films; one is as good as its doppelganger, the other is far superior.  They are "Defendor" and "Battle For Terra" respectively.  Defendor shared a similar plot to Kick-Ass, in that they both involve someone using their expansive comic book knowledge to become a superhero.  However, that's about all they have in common.  While Kick-Ass is a bit of escapist fun that doesn't even consider taking itself, or the superhero genre, seriously.  Defendor, on the other hand, is more of a social commentary on vigilantism, much like The Boondock Saints, or Death Wish (the novel, not the film).  Now to  the animated film Battle For Terra.  It was released theatrically in 2007, but wasn't marketed properly, so almost nobody saw it.  Recently, it was released on DVD to coincide with its doppelganger (I'll just give you the plot, and see if you can work it out).  Battle For Terra is set in the future after humanity has buggered up Earth, and is looking for a replacement.  During a battle, one of Earth's fighters ends up amongst the native Terrians. This soldier goes back to the other humans, and tries to create a cooperative living arrangement between humans and Terrians.  When this doesn't work out, a visually stunning, edge-of-your-seat aerial battle ensues.  Again that was the plot for Battle For Terra, not Avatar.  So forget Avatar ever happened and let the better film win.

Gemini's Gravity Gaffe

Gemini's noticed I haven't talked about her for awhile, and is currently advising me to rectify the situation.  Have you ever had a time when something kind of bad is happening and there's two voices in your head; one telling you to intervene, and a louder one telling you to wait and see what happens.  This happens a lot regarding Gemini's actions, I usually listen to the louder voice.  Most of the time, it's just her and Carmello fighting.  They can really go at it, so it's probably a good idea that they pull their punches.  However, the best stuff comes from her understanding of gravity.  She's realised that if she leans her head against the biscuit box, then pulls back, the box rocks.  If done enough times, the box will fall off the table and open, allowing her to have as much biscuits as she damn well likes, which is usually only a fraction of what falls on the floor.  There was a time where, despite the box's emptiness, she decided to "love" it.  Carmello was on side of the fireplace, and Jasmine on the other.  Gemini was aware of this placement, and continued loving the box.  This is where the loud voice was getting me to place bets on which cat was getting Tupperwared in the face.  In the end, it was Jasmine.  Despite this firsthand knowledge, Gemini believes she is immune to the pull of gravity.  Often whilst sleeping on an elevated surface, she gets quite relaxed and rolls around, until she runs out of bed.  The best part is seeing her expession slowly change from ecstasy to pants messing fear.

A slightly belated chat

Evening all, I know our chats are usually in the morning, but there were some technical difficulties regarding the Internet this morning.  Something excellent happened yesterday, Mum bought herself a game and stuck it under the chrissy tree.  Four hours later, she wanted to play the thing, but she couldn't cause it were under the tree.  After extensive haggling, all of us could see what we got.  Alongside the Veronica Mars boxset, I got a 2GB MP3 player.  It's already loaded with the works of Mike Oldfield and Jean Michael Jarre.  Also bought myself a few DVDs.  I got Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, Any Which Way You Can, Black Lightning, and Zu Warriors From The Magic Mountain.  I've not seen those last two yet, hell, I hadn't even heard of Zu Warriors before, but apparently it inspired Big Trouble In Little China, John Carpenter's second best flick.  As for Megamind and Tron Legacy, they're both well worth a look.  I was relieved to note that neither of them came with a side of Disney biscuits.  Disney biscuits are those bits in kiddie flicks especially that are either sickly sweet or gratuitously heartwarming.  As far as Tron was concerned, it could of been two hours of Lightcycle chases and I would've loved it.  Now I can't wait to see what the same team plan for The Black Hole.  One day I'll work out how to write a proper review, but until then, may your Spectrum be Green.

What to write about

This one's a bit of a filler at the moment.  I haven't quite worked out what to write about.  I've had a bunch of ideas floating in my head, but I've been getting into "Quantum Leap".  That, and I'm also watching the fifth season of "Dexter".  Unfortunately, I'm watching that one with Dad, so I've got to work with his schedule.  Mum and Dad have decided to be evil again this year.  They've decided to put all the stuff under the christmas tree well before christmas.  So, I'm stuck looking at the boxes trying to work it all out, which is worse than just plain not knowing.  Admittedly, I know what one of mine are as I picked it out.  I've got to try and finish "Quantum Leap" before christmas so I can get into "Veronica Mars".  I'm sorry for improvised rant, but I'll make it up for you on Wednesday.  After all, I'm seeing Megamind and Tron Legacy on Tuesday.  So I'll probably review one of them.

Would a rose by any other be just as awesome?

I've been looking at a few other blogs lately and noticed that most people to go on about their life story.  So I guess I'll chuck in the occasional snippet in between the pop culture rants and updates of feline-based villiany.  The best place to start would be the thing I started with; a name.  I was originally going to be Darcy Llewellyn Roberts.  However, there was some disagreement as to how awesome this name was, and I ended up with Benjamin Darcy instead.  Honestly, I'd have much preferred the first option.  The meanings alone are worth it.  My current name means "Son of the right hand Fortress" when I could've been "Fortress Ruler".  In other words, King of the Fort.  Another was the name calling.  When I started school, rhyming was still a popular starting point, so I ended up with "Ben the Pen" and "Ben the Hen".  Now, "Ben the Pen" wasn't a problem because back then, using a pen was a privelige, and a had always been fond of the written word.  As for "Ben the Hen", that manages to call me both a chicken and a girl, to of the worst insults you can get.  If I was Darcy, there was only classy and ar*ey.  Classy isn't exactly an insult, and the other would've resulted in a washed mouth.  I did get my mouth washed out, once.  Thing is, it was for one that's become everyday language for most people.  It was only sh*t.  If I'd gone for the Grandaddy, I would've had a washed mouth, red bottom and an early bedtime.  Of course, the namecalling evolved as schooling went on.  I've had loser, moron, retard, fagget, goober (if anyone knows this, please tell) as well as nerd, dork and geek, (I like those three).  Once I hit high school, things elevated further.  I won't repeat thos names as they got quite colourful, including the dreaded "C-Word" about twice.  Thanks to all this, I wasn't to fond of people and labelled myself an insociable bastard.  But all that changed fairly recently, when I discovered there was a noticeable portion of the human race that weren't complete bastards.

Insane Ramblings That May Or May Not Rhyme

Banana Puddings roam the earth,
They've stolen all the bacon,
Their Queen is preparing for birth.
Our planet has been taken.

The humans are planning an attack.
The leader's pants were stolen,
It happened when he was bowlin'.
He'd do anything to get them back.

Their plan was in it's final stages,
They made a visit to the animals.
They opened all the cages,
And treated them like cannonballs.

The puddings began their bacon feasts,
When they were bombarded by flaming beasts.
The Queen's water had just broke,
A flowing river of Coke.

Burning giraffe filled the air,
Puddings dying everywhere.
"Zex-Kwiv" the Queen madly screamed,
In her eyes vengeance gleamed.

There was one last kangaroo,
Until they'd used all the zoo.
Soon they'd have to face the Queen.
This feat would not be mean.

Humans smashed down the door,
And looked upon their work.
Yellow ooze filled the floor
Blazing puddings went berserk.

The humans watched on unfazed
How could they be so crazed?
The Queen went haywire
And was ended with gunfire.

The puddings had been beaten
The humans began eating
The leader had reclaimed his jeans,
When along came the jellybeans.

Honour, loyalty and wenches

I thought it was about time that I gave my opinion on the great debate of the 21^st century. No, not that one, although I’ll get to it later. I’m here to talk about the controversial matter of pirates versus ninjas. I’m one of the enlightened few who recognise the superiority of pirates. For the sake of this argument, historical accuracy isn’t overly important, unless I say so.

Let’s start with the fighting aspect of the argument. Now a pirate versus a ninja would be like a mongoose versus cobra type fight. But the argument has always been a pluralised matter. Ninjas fight better when they’ve got plenty of room to move round, but put them in a close combat situation and they’re completely buggered. Whenever a hero encounters a room full of ninjas, at the end of it all, the hero is able to walk away. The same can’t be said for the ninjas, some are lucky enough to crawl away. Pirates, on the other hand, spend most of their time on tight, crowded boats, and as a result, are more accustomed to the event of close combat.

Another important aspect is that of life expectancy. There are plenty of wise old pirates, but ninjas are lucky if they can even get to two days before retirement. In the event of capture, ninjas immediately die. So if you want to kill a ninja, just hold onto their arm for 10 seconds. Pirates may rarely get captured, but they won’t say anything, and whatever body part is forcibly removed can easily be replaced with an artefact of coolness, like an eye patch, hook or parrot. In fact, anything worn by a pirate becomes freaking sweet, especially compared with ninjas sole wardrobe of pyjamas.

Now for the most important aspect; honour. Pirates were very loyal creatures, all loot was divided evenly based on rank and duty, so if you were playing Sonic rather than attacking the Dutch East India Trading Company, start thinking of the story you tell your wench explaining why there's a chioce between ham and rum, rather than both.  Ninja’s, on the other hand, would totally murder a baby. Except in the upcoming movie “Warrior’s Way”, where a ninja refuses to kill a baby, so he becomes a cowboy. * Plus pirates only steal material possessions or loot. Ninjas stole their whole concept. Yes, ninjas are plagiarisms of Saracens and nobody likes a plagiarist. There are probably some of you saying the same thing about pirates and Vikings, but pirates only attacked naval and trading ships. Vikings went after whole villages.

* Possibly with aspirations to one day move up the cool scale to the class of pirate.

We interrupt your usual program for this breaking news

This here's an update on a few of the earlier posts, particularly the two concerning tokusatsu.  First off, "Kamen Rider Dragon Knight" is still freaking sweet.  Secondly, I had made a slight mistake.  While Nickelodeon are the major players for the new Power Rangers, Saban has returned to call some of the shots.  Also, I decided to look into Disney's last Power Rangers.  I must admit, it too was awesome, thus making tthe score 3 out of 7.  Finally, I saw the first episode of Japanese Spider-Man.  And you can too.
http://marvel.com/videos/browse/tv_show/128/japanese_spiderman
The video quality was a bit meh, and wasn't as violent as I had hoped, but it's still worth a look.

Beware my power

I’ve recently seen the trailer for “Green Lantern”, and even though I’m counting down the days until release, * I can’t help but find it a little familiar.  This is all because of the supposed necessity of an origin story.  The only excellent origin is “Batman Begins”, until the dog that is “The Dark Knight” came and piddled on that tree. Seeing how the hero gets to be the hero isn’t all that necessary.  The plot should create the character development, not the other way around.  If you still can’t see how pointless they are, look at the “Star Wars” prequel trilogy.  Give Hal the ring before the opening titles and move onto a plot, or put the origin in the opening titles like in "The Incredible Hulk", mind you I preferred Ang Lee's "Hulk.  Hopefully, it’ll be a success and the proposed trilogy will come into fruition.  Mind you, I’ve got another idea of giving the Emerald Gladiator a vehicle.  What with “Smallville” coming to a halt, give Oliver Queen/Green Arrow a spinoff where he teams up with Hal Jordan’s Green Lantern, following in the footsteps of the O’Neill/Adams series, kind of like “Supernatural” only Superpowers.  Maybe even bring in some of the other heroes featured in “Smallville”.

*As opposed to the similarly titled “Green Hornet”, which I decided against the second Seth Rogen was involved.

Your friendly neighbourhood giant robot

I thought I’d continue along the lines of the tokusatsu.  This time around it’ll be a proper one, in other words, Japanese.  I haven’t seen it myself, but I thought I’d put the word out, so someone can find it and tell me how freaking sweet it is.  The show in question is “Spider-Man”.  Bet you didn’t know there was a Japanese Spidey running around.  In the 70’s, Marvel made a deal with a Japanese production company and said that they could do anything they felt like with Marvel characters.  They started with Spider-Man.  Instead of the nerdy kid who gets bitten by a radioactive spider, he’s a teenage motorcycle daredevil who happens across a crash-landed spaceship (funny, how only teenagers notice these things).  The ship was home to an alien headed for Earth, as it was also the destination of his archnemesis.  The alien gives our hero a snazzy pair of tights (same design) and the keys to the spaceship.  Of course, this is no ordinary extra-terrestrial vehicle, it also transforms into a giant robot.  Always helpful for those times when the bad guy becomes super huge after exploding.  The best part is that this was made about the same time as the American live action Spidey series that had the proper origin but also had him fighting bank robbers, as opposed to super villians.  I don’t think I need to tell you which version the legendary Stan Lee prefers, even though the American hired him as a consultant (somehow I doubt they were taking on his ideas).

It's Venting Time

Today I thought I’d talk to you about tokusatsu.  Don’t ask me how to say it, I just know how it’s spelt.  Anyway, a tokusatsu is like a live action anime.  An example you may know is Power Rangers.  For those of you have decided to keep on reading, as opposed to laughing at the nerd who likes Power Rangers, I’ve recently been watching the latest American tokusatsu.  Like most American ones, Adness Entertainment’s “Kamen Rider Dragon Knight” takes some of its footage from a Japanese series.  There have been two exceptions to this rule; Mystic Knights Of Tir Na Nog and Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters From Beverly Hills.  Trust me, there’s a reason you haven’t heard of that last one.  Anyway back to Dragon Knight, the reason I bring it up is it’s on a level that Power Rangers hasn’t reached (and remained at) for some time.  Let me explain this a little.  When the sixth season of Power Rangers, this time subtitled In Space, came around Saban Entertainment decided a change of pace was in order.  The reduced the reliance on formulaic episodes and added a slightly darker-than-usual ongoing storyline.  When this change proved successful, they decided to keep Power Rangers going with these changes in place.  Unfortunately, it was rather shortlived.  Four years later, Disney discovered there was a successful kids show that weren’t getting money from and rectified that matter.  Yes, Disney was in charge of Power Rangers.  They made seven series, only two of which were truly memorable.  The fate of the Rangers now rests in the hands of Nickelodeon.  The whole point of this rant is my desires to see Adness Entertainment and the makers of Kamen Rider Dragon Knight in charge of those mighty morphers.

We apologise for that last post.

I’d like to apologise about the rushed and sloppy appearance of that last post.  I’ve decided to make my posts on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  Monday morning rolled around, and I hadn’t exactly put much thought into what to write.  Seeing as how there’s five people living here (and four cats), I decided to call dibs on the net first thing in the morning and completely improvise.  Personally, I blame Gemini.  Some idiot decided to show her some Tom & Jerry toons, so she put me in charge of wiping mice off the face of the Earth.  Those cartoons are pretty realistic.  Mice are sly little bastards.  Speaking of Sly, I will personally deal with the person who shows her any Sylvester the cat cartoons where he’s up against the kangaroo.

Serendipity strikes again

The other day I was hoping to take my brother to see "Due Date".  Unfortunately, he was only 14 and couldn't get into a MA15+ rated movie without a note from our parents, despite me being classed as some kind of legal guardian.  Instead, we saw "Red".  That's right, we couldn't watch a road trip of mismatched characters, but we could happily watch lots of violence and 'splosions.  And they were awesome.  Of 2010's four super team action movies, "Red" is the only one I've seen, and I'm afraid to see the other three as they can't possibly compete.  There's one performance I'm hoping to see a bit more of: Helen Mirren.  There needs to be a lot more arse kicking little old ladies.  With any luck, the inevitable sequel will also bring in the likes of Maggie Smith and Diane Keaton.

Sticking up for "The Other Guys"

Today I thought I'd talk about a more serious matter.  It concerns a certain film that didn’t get a decent acknowledgment, for what I consider to be rather indecent reasoning.  That film is “The Other Guys”, but you probably guessed that from the title.  I know I’m a little late to save it, but I feel I can offer some support.  The first reason seemed to be the one that plagues many buddy cop movies; the blending of genre.  This is often the fault of the marketing team.  They decide people don’t want variety in a film, and then set about selling it within a single pigeonhole.  So when it gets sold as an action movie, people complain about a lack of explosions.  When sold as comedy, they get annoyed at the lack of flatulence.  You can’t seriously expect me to believe that you want a movie to fit nicely into the square hole.  You can’t expect a certain film just because of the people involved.  This actually takes me to my next point.  The main criticism I found from some people was that Will Ferrell was playing a different character.  I don’t think they realise the man is an actor, a profession which is known for pretending to be something different.  Would you complain if a butcher sold you sausages?  Ever since he let the world see him in full swing in “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy” he’s been expected to play that exact same character.  When he decides to do something beyond that role the monkeys throw faeces.  Which is a shame as I reckon “Stranger Than Fiction” is his best work yet.  Will, on the off chance you’re reading this, please don’t stay classy, let the world see you at your best.

P.S. If you didn’t like “The Others Guys” for reasons other than those specified, I do apologise.

May Our Paths Cross Again.

I shall live. For now.

As you can see from this post, Gemini has decided that despite my having spilled a few beans, I am allowed to live on, as she considers me too valuable at the moment.  That and she figures the publicity is beneficial to her plans as she will be recognised as a force not to be laughed at when she makes her first move.  However, I haven’t been left completely off the hook.  When the Earth is rebuilt in her image, my hold has dwindled.  For example, I no longer get Finland.  Plus, I’m not completely irreplaceable.  Carmello is already being given the same clearance level as me.  I think the only things keeping me on the team are my opposable thumbs and the fact that I’m about the only being in this universe that can decipher my handwriting.  I know I should try and stop her, but who doesn’t have dreams of world conquest.  At least she’s attempting to realise them, just as I’m using this to realise my own dreams of being a writer.  That, and whenever I do try to act, I think about feline supervillians, which leads to thoughts of Julie Newmar as Catwoman.  That train of thought tends to stop all other thoughts and actions.

Tune in next time, same Bat-time, same Bat-channel

Welcome to the Order of ZXQYV

Evening all,

To start my life as a blogger, I figured a lovely little intro would turn out to be a good idea.  In fact, that’s probably how most insights into the world of ZXQYV will start; if it feels good, do it.  Now for those of you who found this in your daily quest for Internet based religious communities, the Order of ZXQYV is no such a thing.  For a start, I don’t buy into that stuff.  ZXQYV is simply a little nickname and signature I came up with after noticing those five are the least common letters in the alphabet, and as a certain pop icon said “I’m not like other boys”, so it just seemed to fit perfectly.  Better let you know, you don’t say it as “Z-X-Q-Y-V” its pronounced “Zex-Kwiv”.  As for why I’ve all of a sudden decided to put my insane ramblings up for everyone to see, if you bothered to read my little bio a major goal in that horrible thing known as life is to become some kind of a writer.  This seemed like a good idea as it could help hone my awesomeness outside of the world of academia.   As well as put my name out there so that when I do become a truly half-decent writer, there will already be a horde of salivating fans waiting to enter one of the many worlds conquered in the name of the Zex-Kwivian Warrior of Wonder.  I’ve just been informed I should make it clear that I’m the one in the cowboy hat.  The gorgeous feline who has allowed me to sit with her is Gemini.  The name is related to her face, not her desires for world conquest, enslavement of humans, and extinction of all dogs.  It just worked out that way.  Provided her supreme Highness doesn’t find out I’ve just revealed some of her plans, I shall return with further rants.

Until we meet again.